We had a dilemma come up this week. Mom has chosen not to immunize the boys. When we took custody of them in January we were aware of this, and were told that the court would respect her wish. Not a problem. Until now.
Our community is experiencing an epidemic of pertussis, or whooping cough. We have been hearing about it on the news and certainly became concerned for the boys. Especially J, who has breathing trouble whenever he gets a cold. The whooping cough is brutal and can last for months.
But the bigger dilemma is this: Our son has asthma and shares a room with the boys. I did some research and learned that the vaccine is not 100% effective. I also learned that children who get whooping cough are contagious before they ever show symptoms. People with asthma who get whooping cough are at risk of much more serious complications than others. We called our pediatrician who advised us not to have our son sleeping in a room with children who are not immunized.
We explained all of this to mom, who quickly informed us that she would not be immunizing the boys and that she would have them removed from our home before she got them immunized. Period, end of discussion.
Now I would hate to see those boys traumatized again by being pulled from our home and placed in foster care with people they do not know. That would be a travesty. But my first obligation is to protect my child in every way possible, which means the boys get immunized or they cannot live here any longer. The decision is, unfortunately, out of my hands.
Since mom was clear that she would not immunize, I had to contact the social worker and share my dilemma. He completely understood, but told me that ultimately the court must respect her decision as she retains her parental rights, including medical decisions. He said he would contact mom and try to talk to her about it and asked that we give her a "heads up" that he would be calling.
When my husband called mom and told her, she was very angry. But I guess the reality that her boys could be uprooted once again hit her and she agreed to get them immunized for pertussis. She is not happy at all, but at least she is doing the right thing for her kids.
Thank God for answering prayers. This could have been horrible for those kids.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Summer
Life is so busy, I don't get much time to stop in here and blog. Summer has been a bit of a challenge so far ...
The boys are in daycare. J is happy to go to daycare. He loves that he gets to play with his friends, go on field trips and have assemblies. M is not so happy about it. He complains that my kids get to stay home. I work from home and my kids are old enough to keep quiet while I am working. They can also fend for themselves when I have an appointment to attend. M is not happy with this arrangement and makes it known. But I must work and this is the only way I can efficiently do so.
I had surgery a week ago to remove a bone in my shoulder that was impinging my artery and blood flow to my arm. I was scheduled to have this surgery in January, a week after we got the boys. With all of the upheaval in our lives at that point, I postponed the surgery. We are in a bit of a groove now with the kids, so I rescheduled (being told by the doctor that my condition had worsened also pushed me along). The surgery went very well, but I must rest in order to recover. And I am not allowed to drive yet.
So we made the mom step up and help us out during this time. Since she has unmonitored visitation privileges, she has been taking the boys to daycare each morning for me. She also came to our home at 4:30 a.m. on the day of my surgery to sit with the boys and get them to daycare. It's the least she can do.
I have noticed a change in the boys this summer. I'm not sure if it's just that they have reached a higher comfort level here, or if they are just getting more frustrated with this whole situation. It may have something to do with the amount of time they are now spending with their mom (16 hours a week, unmonitored). Both of them are sporting more attitude. M will challenge us when asked to do something, or complain about how we do things. J will just roll his eyes at me.
They are able to "work" their mom pretty easily. A few whiny words, a couple of tears, some begging - it's that easy to get what they want from her. I honestly think they are more frustrated with us now because they have been with their mom so much lately, and have had a taste of manipulation. They know it doesn't work with us and it aggravates them.
We still have 54 days of summer to go. Hope I make it!!
The boys are in daycare. J is happy to go to daycare. He loves that he gets to play with his friends, go on field trips and have assemblies. M is not so happy about it. He complains that my kids get to stay home. I work from home and my kids are old enough to keep quiet while I am working. They can also fend for themselves when I have an appointment to attend. M is not happy with this arrangement and makes it known. But I must work and this is the only way I can efficiently do so.
I had surgery a week ago to remove a bone in my shoulder that was impinging my artery and blood flow to my arm. I was scheduled to have this surgery in January, a week after we got the boys. With all of the upheaval in our lives at that point, I postponed the surgery. We are in a bit of a groove now with the kids, so I rescheduled (being told by the doctor that my condition had worsened also pushed me along). The surgery went very well, but I must rest in order to recover. And I am not allowed to drive yet.
So we made the mom step up and help us out during this time. Since she has unmonitored visitation privileges, she has been taking the boys to daycare each morning for me. She also came to our home at 4:30 a.m. on the day of my surgery to sit with the boys and get them to daycare. It's the least she can do.
I have noticed a change in the boys this summer. I'm not sure if it's just that they have reached a higher comfort level here, or if they are just getting more frustrated with this whole situation. It may have something to do with the amount of time they are now spending with their mom (16 hours a week, unmonitored). Both of them are sporting more attitude. M will challenge us when asked to do something, or complain about how we do things. J will just roll his eyes at me.
They are able to "work" their mom pretty easily. A few whiny words, a couple of tears, some begging - it's that easy to get what they want from her. I honestly think they are more frustrated with us now because they have been with their mom so much lately, and have had a taste of manipulation. They know it doesn't work with us and it aggravates them.
We still have 54 days of summer to go. Hope I make it!!
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